Q: Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
A: Because Oct 31 == Dec 25!

“Knock, knock.”

“Who’s there?”

very long pause….

“Java.”

Q: how many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: none, that’s a hardware problem

["hip","hip"]
(hip hip array!)

Unix is user friendly. It’s just very particular about who its friends are.

Command line Russian roulette:

[ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ] && rm -rf / || echo *Click*

Top 10 things likely to be overheard from a Klingon Programmer

1. Specifications are for the weak and timid!
2. You question the worthiness of my code? I should kill you where you stand!
3. Indentation? I will show you how to indent when I indent your skull!
4. What is this talk of release? Klingons do not release software. Our software escapes leaving a bloody trail of designers and quality assurance people in its wake.
5. Klingon function calls do not have parameters – they have arguments – and they ALWAYS WIN THEM.
6. Debugging? Klingons do not debug. Our software does not coddle the weak.
7. A True Klingon Warrior does not comment on his code!
8. Klingon software does not have BUGS. It has FEATURES, and those features are too sophisticated for a Romulan pig like you to understand.
9. You cannot truly appreciate Dilbert unless you’ve read it in the original Klingon.
10. Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!

Old C programmers don’t die, they’re just cast into void.

If you listen to a UNIX shell, can you hear the C?

*späm*